Damien Hobgood Wins The Battle Of The Twins

I always loved how the Hobgoods surf barrels. Double hand-dragging, so low, so committed, hard off the bottom. Stylish, confident.

Younger heads may not appreciate how influential the pair were in heavy tubes. They’re maniacs and helped set the bar for what the best do.

I’ve had the privilege of watching them surf Pipe, firsthand, a few times. While I bodysurfed and tried to steal waves from the shoulder. Because I’m too scared to stand up at that bit of reef.

I’ve only met them once. At the In ‘n’ Out on Inglewood Ave in Redondo Beach in 2005. I ordered a Double Double, animal-style, with fries. I don’t know what they ate. It would’ve been weird to ask.

While I think that heritage heats are typically a reason to drive to the store for another twelve pack, this particular Brother-on-Brother incest heat is a must watch. Good enough to lay a bet.

It’s Rory v Mikey C: $20 to the winner. Rory’s repping Damien, Mike loves CJ. I tried to get him to risk more but Mikey didn’t have it in him.

(Note: Neither of us can tell them apart. The bet was, essentially, a coin flip.)

(Note 2: Is that a bummer for identical twins? That people struggle to separate you from your sibling? I’d be bummed if I were confused for my brothers. But only because the younger couldn’t hang at Stab High. Free booze should be for experts only.)

(Note 3: Fuck yeah, Caio!)

Mike said that Damien looked “inflated” on the webcast. I can’t wait until Mikey is a beefy pile of Italian flesh. It’s five years off. And he doesn’t get it. Only a few freaks each generation stay slim and flexible. The rest of us plump and fall and shatter.

Damien grabbed a pit at the start, a 7.5 by event standards, not watered down because, you know, he’s still got it.

CJ got a 1 and then grabbed a small backup.

We were hoping it would go back and forth. But it didn’t.

“It’s been pumping all day,” Kelly Slater said, disappointed by the inconsistency. “I think they should run it until a big set comes. Even if that means until dark.”

Damo grabbed a no-make with ten minutes left. CJ sat and sat and sat. A solid set finally rolled through, but neither twin wanted a piece.

“There was no entry,” Strider said from the channel.

Slater begrudgingly agreed. 

Damo nabbed one last wave, another mid-seven, then…tick tick tick…horn. 

The brothers’ head-to-head tally went 5-2 in favor of Damo.

In a moment of reflection, CJ said, “Maybe I just don’t have it in me anymore,” then went on to thank the WSL and congratulate his bro on the victory. 

Speaking of which, you owe me $20, Mike.

Suck it.