The Current State Of The Stab Reader’s Shark Anxiety

Now presenting the unveiling of our current state of shark hysteria. We ran this poll containing 19 questions ranging from the best ways to deal with shark prone areas, whether the Mick Fanning incident at J-Bay was an encounter or an attack to would you return to the water if you were attacked, etc. A little over a thousand of you (1,063 to be exact) threw your answers into the polling pool, and we’ve been sitting on this information for quite some time. With the recent Reunion Island drama, the problems in NSW fresh and an influx of shark sightings in Southern California and a few Great Whites being reeled in off the Huntington Beach pier, we present a snapshot of our current state of paranoia. But first, blame the crooked, click bait driven media! Now, here are the results in their entirety:

Since there was an “other” option presented it’s only fair to highlight the popularised vote for the category. Reading through the data, a growing population with more beachgoers was the hot alt-vote, along with the media (which was also a clickable selection). Because this survey is anonymous here are our favourite irreverent answers. If any are yours claim them in the disqus… under another veil of anonymity. Isn’t the internet fun?
“New Smyrna.” 
“More GoPros and drones.”
“It makes hot fear mongering news and that shit sells.”

The most popular “others” were: Cage diving and overfishing (once again a clickable option). 

The alt-answers that provided smirks, and a minor laugh:
“How the fuck are we supposed to know that?”
“Trump” 
“Too many sea lions?”

Nobody surfs daily! 36 percent of you are frothy little liars. 

For those near-15 percent of you living in a constant state of shark fear, surfing must be a thrill! 

Followed by an overwhelming response of exclamatory “All of them’s!” was hammerhead and makos, and stingrays because “they’re scary as shit.” 

Rounding up to 90 percent will return. Dedication on such a broad scale is admirable. 

In the “other” category, “let them be” and “take our chances” shown through in popularity. The answer, “Pull up our skirts and remember how we made this an elite sport,” is adorable, however. 

As the question is very similar to #11, so are the other deterrent specifications, we won’t bore you with more “leave them alones” and “I have no ideas”. 

Most opt to tag for research, or simply to DESTROY! 

The vast majority agree, no bite = no attack. Someone should tell the headlines of 2015. 

The “other” answers varied from “Fuck Morgan” to “Stab Fags”, “plenty”, “let them be” and “have you ever seen a shark?”