Griffin Colapinto And Carissa Moore Lift Lumber At Groundhog Day Rodeo

“When he hits the waves, the water flies up,” a patient dad explains to his shoulder-riding son.

A fitting simplification of competitive surfing, during a contest which already inoculates much of its beautiful complexity.

Brazilian dance music vibrates out from under poolside trees, everyone looks a little more sunburnt than yesterday, and the faint smell of manure hangs in the air.

“I feel like I’m at the beachhhhhuh,” a valley girl croons, her words drawling out with affectation. 

I do not feel like I’m at the beach, and I’m starting to think drip-feeding myself free beer yesterday wasn’t such a genius plan.

Filipe careens by once again, throwing fins and catalyzing a cowbell-heavy orchestra of cheers.

Surfing’s groundhog day is upon us.

“I’m a Hurley guy so I gotta root for Fil, but I’m definitely backing Griffin too. He stepped up last night, and it’s so hard to surf under these lights,” our BetOnline sage Brett Simpson told me this morning, mid-demolishing his kid in ping-pong. “It’s also pretty damn hard to bet against Gabe. He just loves this pressure.”

There was more energy and excitement in the thick Lemoore air today. I overheard a crowd of boisterous Brazilians ordering rounds of white wine at 10:30 am.

“Well, it ain’t Cloudbreak, but at least there’s lefts!” a Surf Ranch lifeguard chirped to me as he drove by, grinning in a golf-cart.

It felt more like a festival, with some dude DJ’ing from an armored RedBull truck and acai flowing like water — indeed, I almost forgot there was a surf contest going on.

The men’s quarterfinals came and went, with Griffin Colapinto besting our dark horse pick Yago Dora, SITD protag Italo Ferreira dropping João Chianca, and Ethan Ewing sneaking past Iceman Gabe with his full-bodied rail game.

After falling on a turn, Yago ended up with a bad case of Ranch rash, on his face, after bashing his head into the unchanging bathymetry of the pool.

Ouch.

I wandered towards the Cup Noodles tent, where Joe Turpel’s voice mingled with an EDM mix of ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight.)” From there, amidst a group of inebriated festival-goers, I watched Carissa Moore and Caroline Marks cement their spots in the finals.

A commenter on yesterday’s wrap noted that not a single roundhouse rebound was carried out all day. Today was, of course, the same. I never realized how much I enjoy watching a clean cutback, in anticipation of the following spontaneity.

In fact, I’m having a terrifically terrible time writing about the surfing. Watching it in person is, as I’ve said, actually quite engaging, but to find original ways to articulately and originally describe the same wave, the same snap, the same tube, the same final finner — it’s cumbersome.

Even Ethan Ewing’s style, which significantly stands out from his peers at every other wave on tour, is almost indiscernible on 90% of the sections.

Also, the amount of non-endemic surf fans who looked as though they’ve never waded more than knee-deep at Pismo Beach was honestly astounding. Bodybuilder fellas with “Nutrishop Fresno” bro-tanks and iPad toting inlanders seemed to be watching, and cheering for, every single wave that trundled through.

After 974 snaps and atleast 40 something blowtails, Griffin Colapinto and Italo Ferreira followed Caroline and Carissa in the final.

Griff and Carissa won, both deservingly so, but as a fellow goof, I had a moment of wondering whether Italo’s right was underscored. Couldn’t have done much more.

Though, Griff hardly could’ve either.

Interestingly, nobody in the finals on either side was riding a carbon-related board — though Italo straddled his trusty EPS.

Come-Ups

Peak performance: Griffin Colapinto, Carissa Moore
Hit replay: Just go watch SITD ep 4.
One-liners: “If Ethan Ewing surfs like fine wine, then Italo surfs like a Red Bull Vodka”  – Kuio Young

One of the more interesting parts of this contest is the unusual sort of pressure it places on the surfers. I’ve never seen more CT athletes fall on pedestrian sections than here in Lemoore.

“It’s a different type of pressure, because you have three minutes to think about it,” Griff told me after his win. “In the ocean it’s more spontaneous pressure. When you’re waiting for a wave here you go through the craziest emotions, it’s kinda scary.”

“It brings out something different, that we’re not used to,” Carissa followed. “The ocean is a really beautiful thing, you have to surrender to it and find peace. I’m able to find peace much more in the ocean. Here, there’s so much in your control that you almost overthink things.”

Let-downs

Caught behind: Everyone was ripping
Blind mice: Italo’s final right was debatable — though I think a fair call.
Say what?: Did Mitchell Salazar call this one of the most beautiful locations on tour?

Watching the crowd filter out, the brands breakdown their tents, and the lucky VIP’s bog their raffled waves I sat and wondered…

Will this event be on tour next year? Are the hordes of excited infidels and cash-happy brands enough for the WSL to overlook the dismal, boredom-related livestream numbers?

From my conversations, it seems as though many of the athletes truly do see it as a worthy-supplement to the rest of the tour and, despite the many spiteful comments saying it’s a bunch of horse-pucky, I strangely agree.

With all of the corpo ad filler, the broadcast is unbelievably boring. Truthfully, I like a good bit of creative internet denigration as much as the next guy… but the Surf Ranch does test a skillset in CT athletes that nowhere else on tour can.

And, if the surfers can accept that being a well rounded World Champion in 2023 includes a wavepool comp, I suppose I can accept it too. Doesn’t mean we have to watch it though.

Maybe I ate too much of the WSL’s tainted acai, and my delusion will fade the closer I drive to California’s wild, rugged coastline.

Maybe not.

I’m just excited to go surf.

Gamble Ramble

Thanks to our friends at Betonline.AG donating all losses in Lemoore towards rebuilding Tahiti after the floods, Mikey C is a philanthropist!

Men’s QF
$100 on Italo Ferreira at 150 to win $67 WON
$20 on Leo Fioravanti at +300 to win $60 LOST
$100 on Yago Dora at -115 to win $87 LOST
$50 on Ethan Ewing at +185 to win $93 WON

Women’s SF
$100 on Caity Simmers at +110 to win $110 LOST
$20 on Tatiana Weston-Webb at +200 to win $4 LOST

Overall event winner
$250 on Filipe Toledo at +300 to win $750 LOST
$50 on Caroline Marks at +800 to win $400 LOST

Day 2 earnings: -$380

Overall earnings: -$215