By Mimi Lamontagne
I am a woman. I am not sexist, rather, a realist. Humanity runs on sex. When Monica Byrne-Wickey pulls off that colossal roundhouse cutback it is not the spray you’re gaping at, not the way the board cuts through the water. Instead, your attention’s focused on the way her hair spins down the arc of her back, the muscles moving through her body, her fingers caressing the wave. We’ve seen surfing at it’s unrivalled finest with the likes of Andy Irons and Kelly Slater, yet there seems to be more advertisement of Alana Blanchard’s bikini bottoms than who’s making it on tour. Why? Because Alana is sexy, and sex sells.
It seems as if every generation is becoming more and more attractive. We have moved from Keala Kennelly to Maya Gabeira (look her up), from Mark Richards to Jordy Smith. So who is leading this collaboration of sex and surfing; who are the world’s sexiest surfers? We all know the girls are gorgeous; it’s time to give the fellas out there some credit. It’s not easy keeping up those washboard abs.
1. Dane Ward
Being from Southern California there is no lack of the cliche “surfer boy”. It might be those baby blue eyes that seem as if they’re looking straight into you, or possibly those perfectly-tousled (but untouched) golden locks of glory, but somehow Dane does it better than the rest. I haven’t had the pleasure of getting to know him, but word on the street is he’s an all-round remarkable guy; definitely not hurting his case for sexiest male surfer.
2. Craig Anderson
Hair is everything; therefore, Craig has everything. I’ve seen more girls swoon over this guy than seems humanly possible, so much so that his beautiful face occupies a large amount of my roommate’s wall space. Craig is an absolute freak on a wave. It makes you wonder what he’s like in other areas of interest.
3. Owen Wright
He is a quiet man. He refuses to create a Facebook page. He has a smile to kill, a smile to seduce. He also possesses one of the best six packs on this earth. What more could you ask for?
4. Jordy Smith
South Africa is home to so many good things, including Jordy Smith. There’s something about him; the goofy smile, the large stature he carries so well, or maybe just how truly happy he seems.
5. Danny Fuller
He lives in New York. He lives in Hawaii. He has a tattoo on his rock-hard stomach. He has entangled himself in the edge and ferocity of the city yet through his travels carries the beauty, joy, and nonchalance of the island; best of both worlds. Hot is overrated, Danny is sexy.
6. Damien Fahrenfort
Damien, I have to confess, you have one of the best jaw lines I have ever seen. An odd complement, but oh, so important. Everything about this man is sexy. The face, the abs, the accent, the cutback. Unfortunately, he is taken, and that is one lucky girlfriend.
7. Eric Geiselman
I can’t imagine being the parents of Eric and Evan Geiselman. Two extremely attractive pro surfers traveling the world with god-knows how many pro-ho’s at every beck and call. But I have to say, they have done an amazing job at raising their sons. Eric, you are one of the hottest men I have ever laid eyes on. You’re only ranked number seven because you’re from Florida. I’m from California. It’s a personal thing.
8. Tanner Gudauskas
He reminds me of the classic “surfer” in all the old surf movies. Towhead blonde, smiling, and of course, charming. Word on the street is he’s quite the dancer as well. Just take a gander at his dance-off versus Seabass in The Pursuit. Definitely takes the gold.
9. Matt Wilkinson
Sorry Matt, but the perm did you no good. Hilarious? Yes. Suitable for sexiness? Maybe to a man that swings the other way. Although rocking up to a competition with a combination of the perm, roller-skates and a spandex suit shows just how amazing you truly are. Which in itself is quite sexy.