Critic's critiques critiqued
Lewis Samuels isn’t as original as you might think. Derek Hynd used to annually publish a similar list to the Power Rankings back in the 1980s, which I’m told was even better than Samuels’ acerbic and amusing rants. Lewis’s main problem is that he chooses his targets. Only the vulnerable and weak are subjected to his virtual sodomising. It’s funny, but somebody’s gotta foot the bill. We asked two of his favorite targets, Phil Macdonald and Drew Courtney, how it feels.
STAB: So Lewis Samuels has divvied you out an ample serving of fecal pie. Here’s your chance to return serve, my man. I mean, it was only a few years ago you were third in the world.
Phil Macdonald: I didn’t know he was still doing those stupid things. I don’t really read them. Why would I care what some twerp, who just wants to be controversial, has to say? I’d love for him to say some of the shit he writes to my face. I wouldn’t hit him. I might word him up, but then again I don’t really care. Why would I invest energy into hating some dork, two-faced prick who writes shit for the sake of being controversial?
Well Macca, if you did read them, this is what you would learn: “Macca got one deep little dogger for a 6.83, but compared to the better backsiders, Phil’s stance looks about as stylish and flexible as that of a He-Man action figure…” Rebuttal?
(Laughter) He’s off his fucken head. I don’t really care that much. He just tries to shock everyone. It’s his opinion, it’s not journalism.
What about this: “In the next heat, Phil scored a TOTAL of .77 points. The only lower scores in ASP history have come when Brazilians have refused to take off on a wave during heats on big days.”
Tell the fuckwit they called the competition off for mine and CJ’s heat. Then when it was off, the waves pumped so they put it back on. The wind came up onshore during our heat and the waves stopped. He obviously doesn’t watch every heat. He just looks at the results or the heats on demand and says, “this is what I can do, I can write people off this way.” I feel sorry for him.
Drew Courtney has been the subject of unrelenting abuse from Samuels since it was announced he graduated to the tour, a lot of which has been about at his physical appearance.
You angry, Drew?
Drew Courtney: It doesn’t bother me one little bit. But I heard a few of the Hawaiian guys are hunting around for him. I would love for him to show his face at one of the contests, instead of just watch ‘em on the web cast. I’d love to meet him face to face. It wouldn’t go real good.
Would you care to respond to this: “Taking off on the shoulder, Drew also attempted to back into shacks like an octogenarian in a Lincoln continental who only uses the rearview.”
I can understand that, for sure. I had a bit of shocker. I went to Scotland to do the WQS and arrived in Tahiti the night before. I’d never surfed Chopes before, so that is probably a fair call.
Do you believe Samuels is fair in his appraisal of the top forty-five?
It’s a problem if he only gets the back end of the forty-four. We are three contests in and there are guys in the top twenty who are just as deserved of a lashing. He’s just trying to suck up the bigger guys arses, I think. Plus he’s just watching it on the computer so he doesn’t see the conditions or the other stuff that happens around a contest. So he shouldn’t really open his mouth.
Should the power rankings exist?
He has a passion for the sport, for sure. But I can’t see how it is good for surfing if he is writing off surfers in general. The back end of the 44 are all total kooks in his opinion. I think he’s just trying to be controversial for the sake of it. I can’t really see the point of it. – Jed Smith
Posts: 45
Reply #45 on : Thu June 04, 2009, 16:53:59