Respect is a dusty word that gets thrown around every Hawaiian winter. Before you get on the jet, you read the mags, you shop around online for advice, and all you hear is: respect the locals. Okay, sure, awesome, I’ll do that, you think. Of course you will. But, what does respect actually mean, apart from the obvious notions of not dropping in or behaving in an uncouth manner? In November, Stab dived into a four-day trip to the North Shore. We wanted to get a few waves before the crowds and clear our heads after our annual party with Von Zipper. On our first night, we were drinking cocktails in highball glasses at Lei- Leis, a restaurant in the Turtle Bay complex. It is a mid-range joint, but we were dressed to the nines: arms decorated with leather bracelets and necklaces embracing our tracheas. I wore a broad-necked fisherman’s tee, spray-pack jeans and Alex McQueen collab kicks. In walks Kamalei Alexander, Makua Rothman and Marcus Hickman. I nod at Makua because I met him once when he was 12 and it is a crime not to acknowledge someone you know even if they can’t remember you. His nod isn’t as jaunty as mine. (Later, I will learn that he wasn’t fond of my ensemble and, in a roundabout kinda way, maybe even thought it was a little disrespectful, like a Hawaiian kicking around Sydney nightspots in a sarong and beads.) Anyway, my dinner date, Wheels, Stab founder, knows Kamalei, who quickly comes around, squeezes our hands, and we arrange this interview. It takes place in the early afternoon on a Friday. Makua, Kala Alexander and Marcus are downstairs. We are told to climb the stairs to the loft. Kamalei is napping. I’m in a quandary. Do I gently shake the sleeping giant and risk the ire of a disoriented Hawaiian thinking he’s being attacked by faggots from outer space or do I shuffle my feet and cough for so long his slumber is broken? I tap and hack. And the interview doth begins.
STAB: The shaka is such a wonderful flight of whimsy. Can Australians throw them at will?
KAMALEI: Shakas are all
good, but no bro’s or brah’s. You say, “Hi, how are you?” Guys will say in the lineup, “Sorry, bro”, “What’s your problem, brah?” Brah? Bro? Who the fuck you talkin’
to? I aint your fucking bro and I ain’t your brah. Fuck you! But shakas are good.
What handshake do you suggest? I’m pretty much the proper palmto-
palm with a firm grip. For me it’s critical. I don’t want to squeeze anyone’s hand too hard and I don’t want to shake a limp fucken noodle. There is a fine line. You
can tell a lot from a handshake. The bro shake is too fucking complicated. If I see someone going like this, (Kamalei does a complicated bro shake pantomine) I’m,
like, fuck you. If you give someone the nod it’s all cool but don’t put your chin up in the air. That’s saying “I’m cool, fuck you.” Putting your chin down is respectful.
You look at someone and put your chin up, it’s like what you wanna fight. It really does a play a key role. You look at Kala. It’s a fine line.
If someone’s kinda
staring, is it okay to say hello?
Yeah, for sure. Life is too short and the world is too small. I don’t blame anyone for being here. It’s fucken gorgeous
out there.
What do you do if you accidentally burn someone?
It’s pretty much the ultimate respect to paddle in. That says, I’m sorry or guilty.
Wait a little while and go out somewhere else. You don’t want to get hit in the face so just paddle away. If you want to get hit paddle back out and make like it was
your wave. If I fuck up in Mexico, Tahiti or Australia, I paddle down the beach and get out of his sight. It’s the least you can do. If you ask for it, you get it.
What’s
the worst thing you can do?
Shake Kala Alexander’s hand too hard. KALA (yelling from downstairs): I had a broken knuckle and (Nathan) Hedgey was
like, “What’s up mannnn!” Fuck! He grabs my hand and I choked his neck. But you know what, I liked Hedgey. What’s the best way to demonstrate
your respect? Go out of your way to show that you want to be respectful. You get what you want. You want respect, you give it. You want a fight, you will get
a fight. If it was me, I would go out of my way to make a local happy. Buy them a beer. What price for security? I will buy my way around if I have to. People need a
bone. Everyone is so busy taking. Like (seventies shaper/surfer legend) Owl Chapman said, “Give a wave.” On top of that, it’s one of the best feelings in the world to
give a wave. Patience is a good quality. That’s the best advice you can give. Patience means humble. If you are paddling in the lineup like a tornado you want to get a
tornado. If you paddle around like a casual cat you might get a nice casual wave. – Derek Rielly.
