Koby Abberton and Bruce Irons are the most talked about men in surfing. One, charged as an accessory to murder and Australia's most visible big-wave surfer. The other, the missing link between the brilliant freesurfer and the competitive animal. Two friends on radically different paths, yet as similar as brothers. And both with supersonice mouths. This is a new style of interview. No questions. No interference. The interviewer as observer. Two hours of pure conversation...
Koby's out of jail. Bailed for $25,000. The charges read: accessory
after the fact to murder, perverting the course of justice, hindering a
police investigation and concealing a serious offence. He has been
served with an assets-seizure notice from the State Crime Commission,
freezing his bank accounts and preventing the sale of three properties
and two cars. Already, he has a movie offer and Who magazine wants him
on the cover.
Bruce, his girl Mia and trainer/friend Kai Qarcia aka Kaiborg have a
layover in Sydney • on the way home from the first WCT event of the
year on the Gold Coast. Bruce got a 33rd, his two-time world champion
brother finished second.
I pick Koby up, first from Jimmy's place on the beachfront there at
Maroubra, and drive to the Stamford hotel at the airport. Bruce and his
posse appear. The 24-year-old Irons wears a black t-shirt and jeans, is
rake thin, and has blond hair parted in the middle and brushed
downwards. Kai, a former world number one ju-jitsu fighter, inflates a
Hawaiian Qrommets Association t-shirt and jeans; Mia is predictably hot
in a tight pink top, white skirt and with a frangipani behind her left
ear pushing back long, straight blonde hair.
We drive back to Koby's small, cream-brick house down the south end of
Maroubra, just up from the bottle shop there. Koby's 78-year-old
grandmother Mavis aka Ma, affected by a stroke, sits in her high-backed
chair a hand's length away from the TV screen watching A Current Affair
and eating dinner out of a plastic takeaway container. Koby shows Kai
and Bruce his new four-stroke WaveRunner and a giant relief lamp of
Buddha mounted on the wall.
"You can have it, it's for you," Koby tells Bruce. He explains they
usually cost a grand but his mate Porno imports 'em so he got it for
400.
As if located by telepathy, Porno comes around. Each newcomer to the
house is asked to walk the length of the room to check out how the
Buddha's face follows your line of sight. Celebrity photographer
Stephen Baccon, on assignment for Stab, arrives and shoots Koby and
Bruce for the cover. He too must walk the Buddha mile. Koby checks the
test Polaroids and jokingly complains about the size of his head, says
he thought he was more handsome and tells Bruce he's all Catfish with
his brush forward. Koby itches his arm and explains that he's caught
ringworm from the ju-jitsu mats.
We drive to Centrepoint tower in the heart of Sydney for dinner in the
revolving restaurant via Oxford Street. Koby points out the popularity
of the Paddington/Darlinghurst precinct among homosexual men and
explains that Sydney is now the gay capital of the world, taking the
honour away from San Francisco.
"Fuck," grimaces Kai, when a petite Asian man in a pink t-shirt and
carrying a Prada shopping bag looks at our car and drinks in the butch
Hawaiian from the crosswalk.
At Centrepoint, the food tastes like gasoline, the vegetarian soup has
chicken and the "bill tops $400 (with souvenir photos). Stab set up two
recorders. No questions from me. 1 eat, get pissed on red wine, foot
the bill and make sure the tapes keep rolling.
Koby's criminal charges are mentioned, but not examined at any length.
Nor are Bruce's competitive fortunes; this is regular conversation
between friends. Koby uses three times of brah (Bro, bru, brah) in the
course of the dinner, Kai nearly pukes after eating a fettuccini polio
and watching the world spin by the window. Tapes roll...
The rest of this article available in the real issue. Stab Magazine 02 - MAY / JUNE 2004, still available in the back issues at our shop
