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Ellie Jean Coffey Says Gurl Surfers Are SXC

Two days ago, a Sunrise presenter intro’d a segment with this:

“We all know sex sells, but how far is too far when it comes to women in sport? Our next guest is making headlines for saying female athletes should use their appeal to get to the top.”

That next guest was Ellie-Jean Coffey, 19 years old and from the Gold Coast.

Ellie-Jean is Instagram famous. She has 234k followers.

Mick Fanning has 194k.

Ellie_Jean_Coffey_Insert_1And there is one thing that makes Ellie-Jean, a national champ and 2012 world junior runner up (but beyond that, in possession of no surfing point of difference from her contemporaries), more Instagram famous than three-time world champ Mick Fanning. And that is skin.

Brown, young, and well-documented skin. It’s hardly a difficult code to crack. Sex has been selling since the ad men on 50s Madison Ave realised that cleavage = vacuum sales (hey, I’ve seen Mad Men too). And it’s a formula that Ellie-Jean is, understandably, quick to defend on national morning television. It is a formula that’s afforded her very sponsor dollar, much fame, so lifestyle. Ask her and she’ll tell you she’s just #blessed, but the Coffey fam vibe is a more calculated one. When tanned glute-favouring frames washed with X-Pro II simultaneously land on the Instagram accounts of Ellie-Jean and her sister, Holly-Sue (147k), it is calculated.

“Nowadays it’s a much easier way to brand yourself,” says Ellie-Jean of social media presence. “Having this whole modelling lifestyle and kind of just going off what I do online has only added extra to what I was already doing.”

Ellie_Jean_Coffey_Insert_2Play that nonchalance all you like Ellie-Jean, but I see you over there, doin’ your thang.

And why shouldn’t she do it? She is young and she is good looking and she can surf and if Alana Blanchard can have 882k Instagram followers and her own TV show and a Sports Illustrated shoot and a camembert-level phone advert and win the Surfer Poll vote even though she isn’t the world’s best female surfer then why can’t Ellie-Jean have all that too?

What is wrong with @laird_hamo_rox asking for a date beneath a picture of Ellie-Jean *self-consciously* covering a giggle? What is wrong with @mesh3l_alzaid offering in Arabic to indulge Ellie-Jean’s request of #takemeback to Tahiti? Uh, perhaps there is something wrong that that. But there is certainly nothing wrong with little @montana443 saying that Ellie-Jean is her BIGGEST INSPIRATION IN LIFE! and that Ellie-Jean inspires her to follow her dreams <3.

Ellie-Jean’s Instagram account is an inspiration station for surfer girls younger than her. It is a brief escape from the confines of difficult socio-economic conditions for Iranian men. It is a guilty pleasure for male surfers. And it is a shudder of discomfort for Cori Schumacher.

Ellie-Jean’s Instagram account is going nowhere. Get busy living. – Elliot Struck

  • HT

    Flaunt it if you got it, but she don’t got it.

    • SB

      I used to have it. But then they changed what `it’ was. Now what I have isn’t `it’ and what is `it’ seems weird and scary to me

      • HT

        Cori, you’re losing it

      • randall

        Oh come on Freida Zamba

      • sam

        I love the simpsons

  • parkos line

    only a 14 year old would be able to decipher this story #confused

  • ASP Judge

    So being an instagram whore is the new black?

    • Kym

      Your ignorance is astounding

      • IknowKymi’mnotKym

        your resistance is futile.

      • SonOfTheTide

        Biatch, just shut the fuck up.

  • poopyfinger

    people get stoked on a butt! picture angles and filters make this beast look descent!!!

  • samtheman

    I would have hundreds of thousands of insta followers too if I paid for them… such crap

  • http://www.aspworldtour.com/tennis A$PCOMISSIONER

    Spot on lady! Just working that $$$ right into the womens tour!

  • Spooner

    what a slut

    • jimbob

      haha

    • Kym

      You obviously don’t know her!

      • Spooner

        if someone shows off their tits and ass to 234,000 people, they are a slut whether i know them or not…

        • Kym

          A slut is someone who had casual sex with a lot of people NOT someone who posts a lot of photos on Instagram wearing bikinis because they surf there are also a lot of photo without tits and ass but your obviously not looking at those ones are you?

          • Spooner

            Ok, I take back both my comments…. WHAT A COCK TEASE!

          • sandy ravage

            You’re fucking great Spooner!

  • El Gringo

    Only the ugly surf chicks don’t like the sex appeal aspect of it. As long as the kids are getting laid thats all that matters.

  • disqus_RLFW2pX47V

    She is beautiful and all. But what pisses me off is that the brands sponsor her instead of girls who surf a lot better…

    • Kym

      She won last years Australians pro junior title she can obviously surf good, two Australian titles and was second in the world juniors!

      • Del

        Is that you Ellie-Jean? I think it is… :D lol

        • Kym

          No but I know her

          • Del

            Ah…you’re her mother…

          • Del

            You’re her mother, right? Well, that would explain why you’re a bit biased. #stagemom

      • disqus_RLFW2pX47V

        Are you her PR?

        • Kym

          No, I just know facts and follow surfing, I wish more girls were sponsored and there are a lot of talented ones out there like Paige Hareb Sarah Mason and many others who deserve to be. I’m happy for those they are sponsored and hopeful for those who arent

          • bitter guy

            you don’t understand the difference between the ones that are and aren’t marketable?

  • kooooook

    The issue here is the fundamental confusion between attention and respect, which is something that many young women have to figure out when they’re 19 years old. Respect for women’s surfing will never be won with Instagram ass shots. Carissa Moore’s forehand gouge on the other hand….

    • HT

      Yeah this is the truth. Guys like Andy and Kelly are obviously considered good looking by females (and some of the same sex – Kelly my man crush, what of it?) but are also marketable for their incredible abilities. Where for a while there female surfing was solely focused on ability and not associated with elegance (lets be honest KK etc). In my mind Steph’s world title run was the modern catalyst for respect for stylish women’s surfing and elegance on land. Sally, Carissa etc all followed this path well but the Instagram generation seemed to have switched off the balance of surfing/attractiveness and become heavier geared towards solely the attractiveness side of things.

      • Trogan Fan

        Not to change topic, but Andy is dead. Has been for a while.

        • Evan Hamlyn

          ya you didn’t have to mention that,, anyone with half a monkeys brain knows that

    • bitter guy

      and if Anastasia surfed like Carissa… but what do ya expect em to do, get day jobs? if anybody wanted to see my junk and i could avoid the cubicle i’d be on it too

  • Trogan Fan

    Thank god. I thought I was the only one who found this chick and her chubby sister to be a bit on the mole side.

    • sam

      If you see her rack in person you’d eat your words

    • Kym

      They are not chubby they are athletic, don’t judge people you don’t even know!

      • Trogan Fan

        She puts her pics on line for me to see, so I get to judge. She’s chubby and her sister chubbier.

        • disqus_RLFW2pX47V

          haha, classic

      • jacopopeterman

        you’re a fucking idiot!

  • cuttiesandfloaters

    What are we to think when the Dad takes 90% off the ass shots, carefully culturing his daughter’s sexy image? Thanks. Or, this world is truly fucked.

    • Kym

      Get your facts straight!

      • cuttiesandfloaters

        Photos are taken by amateurs their iphones or amateur Family photographers Her dad has a Shell necklace.

        • Kym

          I thought you said 90% of the photos were taken by her dad culturing their sexy image now your saying
          The photos are amateurs and friends or selfies and not 90% taken by her dad which is true (and her dad does not wear a shell necklace.) You just make stuff up. Many water photos are professional ones and any are taken by Billabong photographers there’s a huge collection there.

          • cuttiesandfloaters

            30% of amateur surf dads wear Shell necklaces and of those, professional Billabong water photographers take 90%. Instagram shows most of iphone shots, you’RE just quoting real facts, whilst I’m doing the algebra and stuff.

          • sadcunt

            haha!

  • Daniel

    This is the biggest piece of shit article ever written on stab

  • Kewl

    Her sister Holly Photoshops her photos true story

    • Spooner

      she’s also like 16… true story, maybe.

  • tropical

    Is this the same Ellie Jean Coffey that turned down a photo shoot with Stab because she didn’t want to be objectified in that way?

  • niggsandniggs

    Why is her face so manly in the interview?

  • B-Rabbit

    stab taking the moral high ground on sex appeal in women’s surfing… things really must have gone too far

  • parkerconffffinnn

    So is it ok for me to jack off to her or not?

  • jmaccers

    Terrible screen grab at the top, shame

  • Morlock

    “brand yourself”

  • Lorlac

    Love you Stab. Your moving up the ranks too cuttiesandfloaters

  • Squidward

    fucking humans these days. winge winge winge.. since when was being sexy a crime

  • Chuck Steak

    ellie jean coffey is a goddess

  • mullrider

    i wish the lot of them would get on that bus and drive it off a cliff, they like to rock up to any wave in australia and think they own it i think she needs to wash the salt out of her box and stop sniffing her own farts because she is a kook! and will never be a ct surfer

  • http://neighbours.com.au Jarrod “Toadfish” Rebecchi

    i would give your a start on neighbours ellie your can play my daughter and i would be a bad dad

  • http://redtube.com frying dutchman

    Open your eyes, Ellie. It’s not that bright out..

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