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Ain’t that Swell…Fiji special!

This week Ain’t that Swell gets deeper than Mark Healey, in the recent events at Fiji. One of the heroes of Cloudbreak’s swell of the century, Dave Wassel himself joins us to talk us through the heroics, highlights and standout performers from the history making session (including the wave he caught, which many are already calling the ride of the year).

But it wasn’t all good news coming out of the Fiji thunderdome. There was also the small problem that the vast majority of high profile, big salary World Tour surfers chose not to set foot on fiberglass during the all-time session. We talk to the poison quill himself, Lewis Samuels about what that means for pro surfing.

While finally, Hawaiian underground legend and Cloudbreak charger, Kala Alexander takes off his Wolfpak cap and discusses, with some good ol’ school Polynesian philosophy (and trademark vigour) why it’s unfair to criticize the 24 World Tour surfers who didn’t surf that day.

P.S Oh yeah, and we did a little highlight reel of Dave Wassel’s best ever commentary moments.

The man, the legend, the commentator, Dave Wassel.

Kala Alexander knows his shit. And even if he didn't?

Lewis Samuels knows his shit too but even because he does, people threaten to kill him, often. Weird.

Miss last week’s episode, with the hobo pro, Warren Smith, Josh Kerr live on his honeymoon in Fiji and world’s best indie surf culture festival? Here you go, son. 

For Al Knost, Lewis Samuels and Canuck Pro, Peter Devries in episode two, clickety clack over here.

For the legendary Ozzie Wright, World Tour surfer, Matt Wilkinson and Irish Pro, Fergal Smith in episode one, click here. 

  • Barry

    Lewis, you didn’t surf that day. Enough said.

  • puppeteer

    Listen,
    Look for the puppet master. Look for those with the strings. Kala is a puppet. Look for the puppet master… this is ridiculous. The marionettes dance to the rhythm of those pulling the strings. Kala is a puppet. A puppet who dances on a wave. A puppet who was dressed by his master. None of this is real. The industry is the small stage. One look behind the stage and a retiree with a nasty ballsack sits. One hand in the vaseline jar and one hand on the puppet control. Lewis Samuels is another puppet. The puppet writes the phrases of his Master. Look at his strings.

    • zeus

      cool story, bro.

  • Mangoes

    Ha. Kala is epic. I always wanted to hear what that dude was actually about. Sounds pretty cool but I’m betting he’s still gnar on the rock.

  • shut the front door!

    That Wassel commentary highlights reel is fucking ridiculous. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long, long time.

  • paranoid carrrnts

    relax 9/11 was an inside job guy. jesus. it’s surfing dickhead. get off the ice pipe.

  • BDP

    this lewis samuels fella sounds like a bit of a prick doesn’t he?

  • David

    shit I’ve never listed to this before as it looks absolutely ridiculous, but that was reasonably entertaining. bravo.

  • STABmag

    You’ve been missing out, David my boy. Get your download on and catch up. You’re way behind.

  • STABmag

    Oh, and David, we have a little saying here in radio. It goes: Don’t judge a radio show on it’s appearance…cause, ah, that would just be fucking stupid. This is Jed Smith speaking. That is all.
    **********cease transmission*********

  • MIke Retro

    Lewis loves to produce collages of dicks..ALL KINDS !

  • Paulie

    Wassel! What a commentator, that shit is hilarious

  • The surf fan

    That was fucking awesome. Thankyou very, very much. what an insight.

  • lickers da nuts

    Booyah! Dave Wassel is da man. Mad hui!

  • Jack

    I’d love to see that Lewis guys paddling out that day, he certainly has confidence in his words… STAB won’t you fly him to the next big swell with that hell men crew to see how he fares? I guess it’s time he puts his money where his mouth his… Somehow I imagine that guy living on his own behind a computer screen… has anyone seen him around?

  • Luther

    Kala called it the way it was and he surfed it. Meanwhile in web land everyone else is calling out the tour. I’m gonna go with Kala and say fuck all the guys at home complaing about the guys not surfing. No one was prepared, some of the pros would have borrowed boards but the rest would have been forced over the ledge on 6 ’8 to stay in the title race or on tour. Is what it is

  • L

    Interesting perspectives from three people – Two who know their shit and were out there putting their lives on the line and the third person just……talking.

    Here’s an idea for the ultimate webcast (there isn’t a sponsor in the industry that could say no) When the next purple blob approaches Fiji, kidnap Lewis Samuels and take him, a quiver of ten foot boards and floatation vest to Cloudbreak. Then send him out at the ledge when it gets to 20 foot. We can watch him “get in easy” and ride the barrel. We can all cheer while watch him drown. Stream that shit.

    BTW – great radio show.

  • Blizz

    As a fellow San Francisco resident, I’ll defend Lewis’s honor here- look at the pic and tell me he wouldn’t charge harder than many ASP guys: http://mayhembiolos.posterous.com/74-trim-test

  • dAN

    I think you’re missing the point. Lewis isn’t a fvcking PRO surfer. He doesn’t have to surf Fiji to prove anything. Call him on on his grammar but not his surfing.
    These guys are paid professionals and they were all pussies….end of story.
    His comment is very valid. Big wave surfers don’t get hurt that often and just for arguments sake – have you seen what the X games are doing to the half pipe skaters?
    A tweaked knee after a whole day surfing 30ft+ is tame.
    I’m not taking anything away from the surfers but BMX / Skate / snow boarding…..way more risk.

  • Stucco

    I know Lewis: little guy with big balls. I think he’d have a go.

  • JOKER

    That’s right Dan your right.

  • kala my bff

    I was with Kala earlier today. He is releasing a cover of the song Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson. We both had a heart to heart and a good cry together over some guys. It seems like he was wounded, but is now just recovering from alot of drama in his life. Whats awesome is that one of the former back-up dancers from the Pussy Cat Dolls will be joining us when we bodysurf together at a boardshort photo shoot. Some men connect with other men in fascinating ways…. we shared secrets about which guys had HAWT tattoos … and which ones didn’t … bff

  • Mac

    seen that roller derby shit. Girls on rollerskates. DANGEROUS.

  • Chongo

    Amazing! Lewis puts the “D” in douche and dick-breath. That’s super talent!

  • Chud

    Agree with: a) Wassel is excellent; the stints where he and Healey were commentating the Pipe contest earlier this year were all time, and W. continued it in Fiji (props also to Turkeymelt). b) those who are saying they’d rather take the word of the two guys who were there riding waves that day over the three guys who weren’t — Lewis I’m sure charges way harder than me, but he just comes off here like a whiney little bitch (sorry Jeb and Ry-Man, but so do you two … you make a big deal of it all with Lewis and then get completely back-peddeled by Kala two minutes later. Gotta say, your whole thing about how all these journeymen surfers ruled, while true, sort of calls the lie on Lewis: If he’s such a no excuses charger, why wasn’t he there? According to the way you guys spin it, all these surfers who have regular jobs managed to be down there, so why not him?). Yeah, a lot of the ASP guys didn’t paddle out, but really, why does that get your underwear in such a bunch? The only ASP guy I personally was actively interested in seeing surf that day was John John … he would have smoked Ace in those waves, but he smoked him the next day. Big deal — and no, I don’t begrudge all those ASP guys for the fact that they rip on most waves in the world (nor that, as a general rule of thumb, you don’t see an ugly guy in the top 10 … big deal, so they’re selling a dream; it’s why I watch porn too.) Other thoughts: Blizz, that photo of Lewis in SF is sweet, but that’s a very clean, very uncritical looking wave … not nearly as gnarly as what was going down in Fiji. “Kala my bff” hahahahaha!

  • SVD

    Malik Joyeux (Pipeline)
    Jon Mozo (Pipeline)
    Sion Milosky (Mavericks)
    Mark Foo (Mavericks)
    Donnie Solomon (Waimea)
    Todd Chesser (outer reef north shore)
    Dickie Cross (Waimea)
    Briece Tarea (Teahupoo)
    Peter Davi (Ghost Trees)
    …to name only the famous who come readily to mind. Here in Hawaii at least, every surfer also knows at least one who didn’t make the surf press.

  • Stu(por)

    Lot’s of people criticizing Volcom over the call these last few weeks … some even saying it lost it’s claim to being counter-culture. I don’t really care about Volcom as a company, but to me it was way ballsier to call off the event and open the waves to whoever was prepared to charge hardest (and to broadcast it live). So some of the ASP didn’t paddle out … the way some are talking it seems like all they were interested in seeing is a bunch of pros humiliated (or worse) … sounds a bit like petty jealousy.

    • industry damage control

      sounds like your lips are wrapped around the stone’s nutz… carry on foot soldier … attempt to distract us .. you are petty .. kook… we watched the event live.. not secondhand.. we are educated to formulate our own conclusions, and don’t need your rambling to clarify anything … get back on the doyle foot soldier… good foot soldier… over the falls ..

      • Crackhead control

        Sounds like your lips are wrapped firmly around a crack pipe: unless you were out that day, or one of the ASP who didn’t paddle out, or one of their girlfriends (possible, given your apparent fixation with cock sucking), you weren’t in Fiji and watched it “live” on a computer stream. Check your head — that you’re so jacked up about this only shows that you’ve swallowed what the industry is feeding you.

  • Truth

    yeah right big waves surfed by big wave surfers-not by not big wave surfers – regardless of all the otherhorse shit.
    Fuck we have evolved into a fucking soap opera bunch.
    So whe these guys charge 8-10″ Chopes your not gunna watch or call them pussies or not think they surf as good any more…
    hows top ten all being ‘not ugly’ call..hahaha fuck off Mat Newton hahaha

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