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A post-elimination interview with Kelly Slater

In round three of the Rip Curl Pro, Peniche this morning, Raoni Monteiro beat Kelly Slater. The loss eliminates Kelly from the competition, and ever-so slightly improves the chances of current world number one Joel Parkinson winning his first world title (very, very slightly – Kelly’s not a man y’ever count out of a title race). Once the initial and appropriate reactions wore off, Kelly gave a lucid interview. Read it below in its entirety.

“You take off, you think you’ve got one easy and all of a sudden the bottom sucks out and you get pitched. I was surprised I didn’t break my board on about three of those. And I got drilled into the sand a coupla times, I just got lit up, my suit was just full of kelp and sand when I came in. Yeah, it was frustrating… that might have been the most frustrating heat I’ve ever had on tour.”

“At the end I was just trying to get outta the currents and just try to find a corner, and maybe try to get a big air, y’know, or hopefully a barrel, but the barrels weren’t working, so I was gonna have to try and get some big air rotation or something. I think one big rotation out there would probably get you over a six. So, when it got down to about three minutes, I figured I probably didn’t have too much time to catch two waves. Maybe. But when you’re trying for 27 minutes already and didn’t get one, the chances of getting two that quick are… they’re dropping off. You’re so close to the beach it can happen, but y’know, it’s just the way it is. If it was offshore it’d be pumping right now, but it’s not.”

“(On watching John, Mick and Joel) Obviously I’m gonna be finding out what’s happening. But I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I might just go straight home. I’ll probably stick around here for a little bit and watch a coupla heats, just leave it here at the beach. You’ve still gotta go out there and do the work. Those guys are at the top for a reason. They don’t make too many mistakes.”

“Ah, I dunno, I’m just frustrated. That was a key heat. I just needed to get through cause there’s so many more points on offer for just making one more heat. And, you get two opportunities in the next one. If this was the three man round heat, and it was this bad you’d say, it doesn’t matter if you lose, but it’s frustrating to go down without being able to get out-surfed, or the chance to out-surf someone. But y’know, Joel and Mick and John John, they’re really good in these conditions, you saw Joel in the heat before me, he picked a bunch of good ones, and John John’s super sneaky in these kinda waves, and expect that Mick will find his waves.”

“(At Steamer Lane) Only one to go there, and that’s up for me, I’ve surfed there once and got last in my first heat (laughs). I think it was about ’94. But we’ll see, if there’s waves there’ll be plenty of opportunities to surf your heats, we’ll deal with those high tide heats, and some backwash, and if it’s small it’ll be tough against the cliff. There’s not a lot of variety that can be done on those waves when it’s high tide and full and small. But if we get swell, there’s some corners out in the middle, and a few different opportunities. Expect the goofy footers to be going left, doing big airs into that wind. I’ll just get there and figure it out. I hear there’s a chance we could actually move up to Ocean Beach, so we’ll see what happens.” – Ryan Miller.

  • Kerry Stradler

    You mean. But didn’t he? I thought that. It really seems like. Do you think? But like. Was that on purpose?

    • Martypotty

      I’ve had enough of him , after that interview I wanted to pull his dick

  • Gaybird

    I’d like to fill him with kelp and sand

  • State of Florida

    I don’t care who’s coming up next, the tour won’t be the same when he’s gone from full time competition.

  • Thommo

    The tour will be just as amazing once Kelly has gone, wish he would retire already…

    • Thommo the Contradiction

      That’s why you were interested in the article, right?

    • U are Dum

      While the rest of the World gets up, has coffee, and checks the surf, Thommo contemplates the calloused opening of his closed fist. “Hmmmm”, says Thommo, peering at the juncture of his thumb and forefinger… “I could hit that, if only I had some of STAB’s hot fish grease!” With that, Thommo proceeded to fark his hand, and say more stupid shit. Congratulations.

    • Slaterfucker

      Thommo you kook. Slater is King!

  • Pirate

    kelly is king. greatest athlete this world will ever see. future looks bright but still too many flogs eg wilko. il give a large big mac meal and a set of fcs to whoever drowns the derrick.

  • rick, 88, mother’s basement

    Not sure what to make of this. Me thinks I will review his heat.

    Maybe some of the big names will go down.
    Who knows? The conditions at the events this year have been crap. Not giving excuses, but whatever.

    Stink bug stance ADS advanced… almost lost his nuts on his air-attempt.. that thing looked bloody pitiful. He looked like a goon trying to pull it…

    Toby Martin rocks… where’s Rosy… need some rack to balance this out.

  • flojo

    how good is parko justifying riding a quad, like it was his idea.. the ONLY reason mick & joel are on quads is because kelly rides them

    • Ralphy

      He also changed the whole shaping industry to go shorter.

  • Honor the King

    the only reason people are riding shorter boards (from 6’2″s) is because of Kelly. the only reason surfing took a huge leap in the 90’s was because of Kelly changing board thickness forever. The only reason anyone of Tour rides quads is because Kelly showed you can use them in heats. Most people are morons, and have no clue as to the contributions he chucked in that make sure Dane, JJ, Medina, whomever have the equipment to rip as hard as they do. When Kelly is gone, there will be a hug gap…plus he still surfs as good or better than all these guys who were in diapers when he won his first Tour event. Wake up Thommo, put down the pipe and stop strangling your pecker.

    • mitt romney

      #10…easy guy, don’t waste your time on the ignorant.
      anyone who has half a brain cell realizes Kelly’s accomplishments.

      most are rooting for KS. whoever wins, wins….
      it would be even sweeter if he pulls it off now.

    • The King is Naked

      Yeah, bummer… who’s gonna give the other surfers on tour hugs when they need them?

  • Thommo

    Nah bro, I get up, get my coffee, wish again that kelly would retire… If you cant handle anyones opinion, which is what this section is for, id suggest you get your head away from the computer screen and continue trying to give yourself head in your crappy little apartment. You’ll get there son! keep at it. Oh and to # 5, didnt say I wasnt interested in Kelly did I?? damn, your so learned… Grow a brain dickhead. Man theres some retarded people on here….

    • Retired Assisted Living Social Security Recipient

      There you go contradickting yourself again, son. Now, are you having issues handling someone else’s opinion about your opinion.

      • notallaussiesareobtusebutthommois

        Leave the poor thommo alone, people, cant you see he is an obtuse aussie who would probably suck kellys dick if he was australian?

  • alp

    Kelly is the consummate professional (Mick is second, by far tho). He owns his competitiveness whereas everyone else plays, to some extent, into the surf-slacker, hassling is weak brah, stereotype. Hassling is weak but that goes for the weekend at your local. For me, he is one of 2 (Mick the other) guys who feels like an actual sports star on a tour of dudes who dig surfing and happen to be good at it. He is out and proud about what the rest of the sporting world says every time they compete – I want to win. I think the sport as a whole will miss the seriousness of his approach if he goes.

  • longtom

    Doesn’t seem that long ago when STAB actually covered events….now we get the same recycled gruel press releases and interviews that every other chump site uses.


  • jj

    parko world champ suck it up kooks.

    • jj kookmeyer

      hey kook, he had his a$$ handed to him … and was comboed. What?

  • Slater lovehater

    I love Kelly but he is the sorest fucken loser ever. I,I ,I,how many times did he say I in that interview, so many excuses,what about, “congratulations to raoni he surfed a smart heat simply out surfed me in the conditions we both had. Pff how is he “I shouldn’t have even paddled out” , and mate the heats over, yes you lost, you usually win . Just come in and take it on the chin .

  • booger

    funny thing that Medina took parko out of the comp while kelly always undermine gabs at any given opportunity. world title race is still on folks

  • bulshit

    Competitive surfing is such a joke! There’s no way julian wilson won that final. Competitive surfing is the burp, the fart and the booger of the sports world. Lame.

  • jj

    parko still number 1 kooks

    • xx

      Parko is number 2 in the adjusted.
      He has not won ANYTHING.
      Parko can start polishing another 2nd place that nobody cares about.

  • fox

    As Kelly was doing this interview saying “i shouldn’t of even paddled out” Julian Wilson got a 10 and an 8???

  • Thomas

    Slater will take the WTC this year at Pipe. Americans seem to dominate surfing year after year.

  • miguel”shrimpy”Medina (bra)

    Seppos and Aussies suck a big fat heitor alves air ,bruno barrel dick!!!u fucking kooks got the media hype.but we got the talent and dedication..its all about marketing bullshit and the pretty girl faces like julian and B FOster…gooo rub one out..thinking on laura enever..blah blah fuck offfff

  • fieoartsma

    Which liquid makeup brands are as good or better than MAC for true coverage? ,clarisonic reviews

  • hrwafwxwes

    that. Anyhow, I ended up giving it to my teen who loved the colors and I ordered ,

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